May
- Due to a muddle with election leaflets the Queen asks the Ramblers to form the next Government,
The 'Right to Roam' is now compulsory and Islwyn Ramblers are the collective Minister of Silly Walks, obviously....
The Met Office declare May to be the coldest on record as flurries of snow and ice cover the valley
but that doesn't stop the bracken and brambles sneaking across footpaths for the unwary to trip over.
June
- You can tell it's Midsummer's Day soon as the rain is distinctly warm, and grass grows as you watch it,
Rambling shops everywhere reduce their heavy boots and waterproofs to rock-bottom prices,
just as well, as the Met Office tell us its the wettest June in history, but not on the reservoirs,
floodwater rushes down the valleys and Welsh Water announce an immediate hosepipe ban.
July
- The school year comes to its climax and the country battens down against the hordes of bored kiddies
Ramblers become heavily over-subscribed as, strangely, a 10 mile walk doesn't appeal to these bored hordes
The Met Office announce with great bluster that this has been the windiest July in living memory
All we've got to do is find something to do with the surplus electricity generated by dozens of wind-farms.
August
- Holiday time and thousands of people spent two weeks at Cost Del M25 and Playas De Gatwick trying to find the exit.
Travel Agents across the country can offer huge discounts on Icelandic Adventures by boat - bring your own oars
Ramblers introduce a minimum height of 5'10" as too many members are lost in the mountainous bracken covering the hills
Oh - and The Met Office say that they've had a virus in their computer and the weather is actually perfectly normal - for Wales!!
Just right for a Ramble then - get your boots on. You know you want to, don't you......
